Blackalogy

You don't represent me!

2009-09-14T11:30:00.002-04:00

To be black is always feeling like you have to be on your best behavior, then cringe when someone of color acts a fool [insert Kanye West incident here]. But, at what point in time are we going to stop letting one define us all?

I understand that those on the outside [of my race] may see the actions of one represent an entire community. Even though, common sense should tell them differently. If that’s the case, then stereotypes about every race and nationality would be true.

Other races dislike black people for the stereotypes. We all must be on welfare and deadbeats. None of us contribute to society according to some who base their belief strictly on race. But, no matter how many times someone of color may say that these stereotypes don’t fit them, you’re perceived as the exception to the rule. I’m sorry, but the rule is false. I’m not even going to justify the rule set with proof. Because it’s not necessary. Those who assume that any race is defined by the actions of one should look at their race. Check out the negative people of your own nationality and ask yourself:

“Is that me”

Of course it's not you. You don't act like the crazies of your same race. So why do the crazies of any race have to define them. I' m not going to let them define me. You think what you want about black people and how we act. I will act as I do daily and not continue to feel like I represent everyone.

This goes back to the saying of not caring what others think of you. Why should someone else perception of you and your race define anything about you?

Skin Whitening

2009-09-10T09:07:00.002-04:00

Skin color isn’t just an issue in America. It’s a worldwide social problem. People in many countries have issues with darker skin tones. Some people want to change it. I know many African-American women who use skin lighteners on areas of their skin. But why?

Reading this article was really upsetting. In a country with mostly brown skin does it really matter what your skin color is?? My goodness!!! Everyone is the similar shade as you. But, to be successful your skin must be lighter. It’s a real shame that the skin color you’re born with still isn’t good enough. You have to be fair skinned and straight hair to be accepted.

What bothers me even more is that while people are trying to be fair skinned and straight hair, those other who are born that way are working on getting a darker shade and curlier hair. Sure sure, I understand that a tan among white people can be seen as wealthy. But, explain the lip injections and butt implants?

So, why is the skin color and features of people of an ethnic (read: non-white) background not accepted? Is it better to manufacture these features than be born with them?

Sacrifices

2009-09-06T12:28:00.005-04:00

Many people don't appreciate what they have. This is why it's important for American children to travel and see how other children live. It is also important to teach your children to give to others.

This is my aunt on my mother side, Lidia Schaefer. Actually, she is my mother's best friend from Ethiopia. But, we grew up knowing her as Aunt. She now lives in Washington D.C. and has given up everything to help her community and family in Ethiopia. She was able to raise $250,000.00 to build a school in Feres Mai, Ethiopia after a young girl was eaten by hyenas trying to walk to school. She has sold her home, car and lives very modestly. Any extra money she is able to save, she saves for her hometown. I am so proud of her.

She is not a millionaire. She is a manicurist. That's right, she does nails and has been able to make an extreme difference. She has also been nominated as CNN Hero.

In a country that has so little, the children understand that education is important. Something that we need to pass down to our children.

Racism or Joke?

2009-09-02T09:23:00.002-04:00

Visit msnbc.com for Breaking News, World News, and News about the Economy

Do you think the lawsuit is justified?

Deadbeat Dad

2009-09-01T21:49:00.002-04:00

Lets be honest...there are alot of men out there not taking care of their responsibilities. I'm not talking about paying child support. Single mothers having to raise children on their owns because fathers aren't stepping up and caring for their children like a mother does.

Sure you can give me that line of 'If the dad isn't in the home, he can't do this or that'. That's BS. He can be an active part of his childs life regardless of where he lives. He has to be active in contacting his child. Too many times I hear grown ass men say they don't talk to their kids because the kids never calls them. YOU CAN'T BE SERIOUS?!??!

That mother is not thinking of calling you, so why in th world would she remember to have her child call you. You are a PARENT. YOU pick up the phone and call YOUR child! It is not your child's responsibility. If their used to not hearing from you, it's part of their routine. You have to make yourself a part of their daily life. You have to call your child PERIOD!

So, Deadbeat Dad, how would you feel when mom takes on a new relationship and finds someone that cares for her and her child/ren like a man should? How would you feel if that child feels more connected to this new man than to your?? This happens all the time. Is this when you realize you're son or daughter needs their father?

Why do men, who are absent in their childs life, get all pissy when another man steps in and is that father figure? You're not taking care of your responsibility so what's the issue?

Roxanne Shante Gets her PhD

2009-08-25T10:12:00.004-04:00

Where there is a will, there is a way. This statement is true for Dr. Roxanne Shante who remembered a forgotten clause in your record contract that the company would fund her education for life. I’m sure the record company didn’t think that a single mother from a rough neighborhood would do it. But, she proved them wrong.

For those who doubt that this is even true. See Cornell’s own website. Her name is listed.

Twenty-five years after the first queen of hip-hop was stiffed on her royalty checks, Dr. Roxanne Shante boasts an Ivy League Ph.D. - financed by a forgotten clause in her first record deal.
"This is a story that needs to be told," Shante said. "I'm an example that you can be a teenage mom, come from the projects, and be raised by a single parent, and you can still come out of it a doctor." Continue reading here..

Damn Budge Cuts

2009-08-24T22:26:00.002-04:00

I swear, I will never for the life of me understand 'Education Budget Cuts'.

My child recently started middle school and thru the programs my county offers, I was able to get her into one of the top rated middle schools in my area. She has to catch the bus to and from this middle school. In the morning it takes 2 buses and the afternoon, it takes 1.

However, while the morning stop picks up right at the end of our street, the afternoon one drops off 1.5 miles away, at a elementary school in an unfavorable side of town. While, I thought I had some comfort in knowing that there would be other children getting off the bus, as well as elementary kids also walking, that was shattered. She let me know today that there was no one there. She was the only one that got off on that stop and by the time they got there all the elementary kids were gone. Good thing, my mother was there waiting on her anyways.

So, needless to say, I'm upset. This is where my child gets dropped off. A neighborhood that has at least 8 sex offenders. Then has to cross a major highway in order to get to our house.

Because of budget cuts, there are no more neighborhood afternoon stops. Because of budget cuts school programs are no longer funded. Because of budget cuts, teachers are let go. But, they still expect our children to preform at a higher level than ever before. Class room sizes are larger and teachers are too busy.

I am grateful for the opportunity she has in going to the new middle school. But, I have to figure out another plan for my child to get home from school SAFELY. There are too many crazy people in the world that will see a lone child walking down the street in a neighborhood they know she doesn't belong and see it as an opportunity. Too many children go missing daily from doing simple things as WALKING HOME FROM SCHOOL. The last thing I want is her to be dropped off right in the middle of it!

I'm grateful for my village. My support system. My family. Although, I will be calling the school board tomorrow to try and get the bus stop changed, I know that my family will be there to see her home safely.

Blacks in Business

2009-08-24T12:10:00.006-04:00

"Black folks need legacy. We have to have examples of successes in order for us to be able to let the generations to come know that many of the successes that occurred by African-Americans in this country can be seen and pointed out and can be emulated," says Michael Roberts, the chairman and CEO of The Roberts Companies.

This is a very interesting article from CNN.com. It's an uplifting article for Black people to be mindful of. Hard work is what makes your business.

But, what annoys me is the link. You can't see it, but it says this:

http://www.cnn.com/2009/LIVING/08/24/black.donald.trumps/index.html.

Why do they have to be the Black Donald Trumps. Why can't they just be 'the successful Roberts Brothers'?

Why do we have to be a black version of something else?

Anywho, read the article. It's very informative and inspirational.

Damn Cat!

2009-08-17T09:24:00.003-04:00

This thing molesting an innocent teddy bear is my cat, Oreo. Oreo is the reason why I haven't been blogging.

I think during the heat of passion and ecstasy, Oreo got carried away. Not only was he entirely too rough with the bear, he chewed my laptop cord. (that's the cord laying on the bear). *sigh*.

So, until the eBay Gods deliver my new charger (all the way from Hong Kong), I'm left without Internet. Which sucks big time! You never know how much you use the Internet until it's taken away from you.

Congrats Frank Hatley

2009-08-11T15:35:00.003-04:00

This is a case that is upsetting! A man falsely accused of fathering a child and still being made responsible for that child.

Frank paid child support for years but later found out that the child he had been paying for wasn’t even his. However, was still required to pay back child support of $16,000. He continued to make those payments and reduce the debt to $10,000. However, over time, payments were missed and he was jailed. How messed up is that?!?!

Whoever this chick is knew full and well that this man wasn’t the father of her child. They should have BEEN on Maury with this one. He spent 13 months in jail for being a deadbeat dad to a kid that isn’t his. I think she should have to go to jail for those 13 months. I think for women, who wrongly accuse a man of being the father of their child; they should be convicted of something. Charged some sort of penalty. Something should happen to them. Because this is wrong! To both the child and the man accused.

Can you imagine that this child is already thinking his dad doesn’t want him? Now, this child learns that this man isn’t even his dad. What kind of couch time will this kid need now??? His mom lied or didn’t know who his father is. How do you think this will affect them going forward?

Women need to understand that they can either assist or hinder the raising of their children. She has hindered this child upbringing.

Let’s hope that the back child support and the hold on his drivers license is removed. The last thing this man needs is something in the way of getting him employed. They should return the $6,000 he paid to the state. That would be the least they could do. 13 months he was in jail wrongfully!

Just think how is this going to affect his ability to get employed.

(source)

#TrueBlood :I Hate Tara

2009-08-11T12:13:00.001-04:00

O.k. so I’m a few more episodes into the 1st season of True Blood. All I have to say is, I HATE TARA. O.k. maybe not her but I hate her character. Most of the time I’m left saying WTF with her. She flies off the handle about everything. Everything is a race issue. Every reason why anybody says anything or does something is because she’s black. OMG. I hate that.

I’m watching the series because it’s interesting. I like supernatural. I like watching shows like that. But, Tara’s character I really take issue with. I take issue with the fact that in the book she was white & an entrepreneur. However, on the TV series, she is angry, unemployable (although she finally has a job and screwing her boss), unable to maintain a relationship with someone and makes everything a race issue. Oh and let’s not forget…her problem is she has a DEMON in her. That’s why she has issues. Oh…right.

I know it’s fiction. So, don’t start. But, damn!!! Why was she the one that was drastically changed from the book to the series?

Business in Black

2009-08-10T14:24:00.002-04:00

I wanted to touch on some business ideas for Blacks, African-Americans, people of color, etc should go into. Many of these businesses are run by non-blacks and really should be looked at from our angle. We should be wondering why someone is making money off a product or service that exclusively serves my community.

So here we go.

Black owned Beauty Supply Stores

In my opinion, there should be more Black owned Beauty Supply Stores. Although, Blacks are the minority, we spend the majority of money on hair care. These beauty supply stores are mostly owned by non-blacks. Why is that? I suggest any black person that wants to start a business, looking to starting a Beauty Supply Store. Look into purchasing selling products that are offered by black owned businesses. Start online or storefront. But, there is money to be made with black hair care and should be made by blacks.

Natural Hair Care Products

Along with Black owned Beauty Supply Stores, there is still room for black hair care products. Mainly, Natural hair care products. Many women are going back to their natural hair (myself included) and we’re trying to find hair care products for our hair. Most of us want something that is natural, no artificial chemicals, preservatives, etc. We already spend billions on our hair every year. Natural hair is no different. If you can make your natural hair care products and get them into organic grocery stores, will being doing a good job with your business.

Shea butter distributor.

Shea butter is a product produced mainly in Africa. However, finding quality Shea Butter in the US is difficult. I recently ordered Shea Butter from a person on Amazon. When I received it, it looked nothing like the picture. It was nothing like what I know of Shea Butter. It stunk, it was highlighter yellow and to greasy. Shea butter is creamy. Has the texture of ..well…butter (not margarine but BUTTER). And the smell is relatively earthy and mild. Nothing harsh smelling. When you put Shea butter in your hand, it starts as a solid, but quickly melts to room temperature. Being a black owned business distributor of a quality Shea Butter (and other butter) products would be a good start for anyone going into this type of retail business.

Now, I listed only a few businesses for black people to get into to serve our community. All have to do with our appearance because we spend so much money on it. But, I’m tired of hearing how it’s too hard and people who come from other countries have it easy. Stop making excuses and make moves. If you wanted to start a business, there are means and opportunity out there for you to get it. The SBA in most areas will connect you with a business to help you get started. Resources online will help guide you in your search. Anything is possible, you just have to be determined enough to get there.

Single Motherhood Sucks

2009-08-03T21:30:00.004-04:00

That's right, I said it! It does sucks! Anyone thinking of taking on the task of a single mother knowingly needs to get their head examined and go into therapy. And NO, I'm not talking about the single parents that became single parents because they lost a loved one due to divorce or death. I'm talking about the women that laid there and go pregnant by a man that had no intentions on marrying them. Yes, YOU!

Being a single mother sucks. Yes, you get all the love and attention from you children, but you also get all the stress and heartache. When you are the sole parent responsible for every runny nose and every temper tantrum AND every principal phone call, sometimes you will sit back and kick yourself in the a$$. Because in all honesty, you want someone to share that responsibility with. You did not make the child alone. But, you're raising them alone. And save me the 'Dad takes care of the child' crap. Because if dad isn't in the home, he isn't the one doing the constant discipline, homework, cooking, cleaning, etc. Meanwhile, dad is at his house relaxing after he got off his full-time job, watching TV. You know TV, that thing you used to watch when you had time. But instead of relaxing, you get off your full-time job and hit the ground running. You go get your kids, get home, get them started on the homework, cook, clean, check homework, stir, clean, move cat, feed cat, check homework, yell at kid 2 for messing with toilet paper, fuss at kid one for looking at his pencil hoping the answer will just magically come out, 'Shit something's burning', turn off eye, fuss at kid too to get in the tub, check homework..etc. Fun right?

Sure it has it's good days. Days when life runs smoothly. Days when you don't have to 'make a believer' out of someone. But, being a single mother isn't all it's cracked up to be. What about the stigma? Oh yeah...there's a stigma.

Talking with male friends, I'll hear them say stuff like "I'm not dating a woman with X # of kids" "Hell, I'm not dating a woman with any kids". Regardless the fact that you're taking care of your kids, you're already cancelled out in many mens minds. Of course, nothing you should be ashamed of. But, let the rolls be reversed.

A man as a single parent is viewed higher than a woman. (my opinion). If a women sees a man raising a child on his own, all you hear is "AAWWW what a good dad". When was the last time you heard that about a single mom? "AAWW what a good mom". Um...not me. Never heard it. But men get more of a praise when raising a child on his own. Men get more of a praise because they 'take care' of their kids. Throw some money, buy some shoes..LOOK AT ME..IMMA GOOD DAD. What do women get? Women don't get the same acknowledgement for sitting up night after night caring for a sick child while dad is oblivious to what's going on. They don't get recognized for squeezing 2 weeks worth of groceries out of the pennies she has saved. Nope none of that.

Single mothers make a huge sacrafice to take care of their children. Their entire life is changed. While the fathers lives is mostly changed financially. Not much of a physical change. They can still resume their same habits as before. Prowling the club playing parking lot pimp.

But, single mothers do it. Because the love of our children outweighs everything else in the world. We'll be the mean person. We'll be the mom that always says 'No'. We'll give up our last penny, forgo hanging out with friends, do whatever it takes to make sure the ends meet to take care of our kids. But it is a job that doesn't reap a reward til you reach a small milestone. You son drew a picture of his family, and you know what...you're the one he took the most time one. Your daughter hand made a card for you telling you how much she appreciates you! It's the little things that keeps you moving..showing you that you're doing a good thing. Showing you that your sacrafices are not in vain. Failing your children isn't an option because they are a part of you. So you continue to sacrafice everything to make sure they don't want for anything.

Single motherhood is really loving this piece of you more than you loving the whole you. And I wouldn't give those pieces up for anything...

#Trueblood :I'm late

2009-08-02T21:29:00.008-04:00

I have an extreme problem. I can't help but watch shows with my race card firmly sitting in my lap ready to be thrown. I try to be optimistic when watching shows, but I can't help but ask "Why did they cast the black girl in that type of roll??" "Why did the black guy die first?" So, I decided to attempt to watch the True Blood series. My co-workers, Facebookers and Twitterers are all in a buzz about this series. So, under peer pressure, I buckled and have the first season coming via Netflix.

Well, after watching Episode 1 of Season 1, the race card was thrown. I don't even recall throwing it..but there it was firmly planted on the TV at the moment when Tara turned into the angry black girl at work. Why oh WHY is Tara acting like a big bish and then up and quit her job for NO APPARENT REASON? Why does Tara make up racial issues???

For example: During Tara's tirade at the old lady asking for information, the old lady decides to that Tara is acting rudely (which she was). The old lady wants to talk to the manager. During the conversation with the manager and the old lady, Tara tells the manager something about she's gonna get her baby daddy to come and whoop his a$$. Then when the manager buckles for fear, Tara calls him a racist and advises she doesn't have a baby or a baby daddy. UH....MAKING UP A RACIAL ISSUE. OMG...that's when the card hit the TV. How is he a racist because you threatened him. I know..not real life but....

Now, I understand that this is supposed to be based on the most cuntry of people...I guess. But, still...DAMN. Why does she have to make up racial issues? I know I know, just watch the show for what it is. Whatever.

My second fault when watching TV shows is I watch them for eye candy. Now, I don't discriminate when it comes to eye candy. Anyone looking good works just fine. Granted there are some o.k. looking men on the show. But, after watching 2 episodes, the black men are gay. Yes, I know, I'm only 2 episodes deep...but geez.

Everyone (black & white) keeps telling me it's going to get better. That once I get past these beginning episodes, it's going to get better. Don't get me wrong, I find the show interesting. I'll watch it. It's just that so far, after two episodes, I'm a lil bothered by the rolls we're given. I guess I'll just wait and see...

Love...

2009-07-31T23:41:00.001-04:00

Ain't it Beautiful...

Black & White?

2009-07-31T19:50:00.004-04:00

Why is Black and White the only 2 colors used to distinguish race? Why isn't there Yellow (Asian), Tan (Hispanic), Opaque, etc used?

Talking to my 5 year old the other day, I asked him 'What color are you?' He said promptly and a little irritated by the question "Brown". Then he went down the list of relatives and their color. He said that I am "Brown, but not as brown as he is" and that his sister is "White". She's mixed. Half black, half hispanic and very light skin. I found our conversation humorous listening to him assign everyone colors as if we were really a Crayola box. I love asking him those kind of questions. There is nothing like a child's outlook on adult issues that makes you think about life differently.

If you think about it, how children are with each other is what we all want to get back too. My son could care less what race his friends at school are. Doesn't matter, they're his friends regardless. That's what we want. To really not care about race. But as adults, we have pent up aggression and anger towards other races for various issues. How I would love to see the world as my son sees it. For what it really is.

Maybe this is why I side on the term of African-American more than I do Black. Yes, I do refer to myself as black also, but mostly I say African American. My mother is African and my father is American. Sure, the white South Africans can claim African American, but I don't think they do. I think they specifically claim South African as my mother claims Ethiopian. But, my children claim the same thing. Because they're not black in color. They have African ancestry. Just as a child of Asian ancestry born of 2 parents that have Asian ancestry would refer to themselves as Asian American and not Yellow...

Why do I get a color while the rest of American gets a term that describes where their ancestry comes from?

Next time, someone asks me what color I am, I'm going to say BROWN! I'm going to cross out black on applications and other forms, or better yet, I'm going to select other if African American isn't available.

Black Barbie

2009-07-30T15:43:00.004-04:00

My cousin sent me this.

Apparently Vogue Italia is doing a Black Barbie issue. I thought this was interesting.

You can read more on Black Barbie here.

Blacker than YOU!

2009-07-28T09:33:00.004-04:00

That’s right, I’m blacker than you. Because, I’m not light-skin-did. I speak with slang. I’m ghetto. I wear dazy dukes and low cut shirts. I listen to music performed by black people ONLY. My kids dress so good, their grades don’t matter. I’m on gobment assistance and get my hair did ery week! That’s right I’m blacker than you. I go from the club to church.

O.k. that’s a bit extreme. We hate those stereotypes people put on us. But, we tend to measure one’s blackness based on those same stereotypes. One’s blackness is not something that can be measured. PERIOD. Because I speak proper English doesn’t mean I talk like a white girl. Because I listen to ALL music doesn’t make me less black. Because I’m doing good for myself financially doesn’t make me uppity. Because I don’t cook soul food (a lot) doesn’t make me bourgeoisie.

We should hold ourselves to higher standards and not measure blackness based on stereotypes. If we continue to think you're only as black as the stereotypes people expect, how far in life are you really going to get?

The blackest thing you could be was a doctor or a lawyer [in the 50's], not a basketball player or an entertainer. And in fact, according to the 2000 Census, there are fully 100 more black, board-certified cardiologists than there are blacks in the NBA. But the average black person doesn't know that. ~ Henry Louis Gates

Black Hair not accepted.

2009-07-25T20:16:00.002-04:00

Recently I took a journey to go natural with my hair. Why did I do this?

Well, I got tired of having my hair relaxed. The maintenance required, constant breakage, the money it took for upkeep. I really bothered me. But, I felt like I HAD to get a relaxer. Like that's what I was supposed to do. My black hair was NOT ACCEPTABLE!

Why is our hair in it's natural state unacceptable?? Why is straight hair more acceptable?

Since cutting my hair, I have never been more in love with my natural hair. The cut itself was done by me in my bathroom out of a fit of frustration with the transitioning process. I was TIRED and impatient. I was ready to see what MY hair looked like. Once I cut it, I felt good but I also felt like "Why didn't I do this sooner??" My hair is beautiful. And I'm not talking about that Good Hair/Bad Hair chit. I'm talking about just having my hair in it's natural state is beautiful.

This is the hair that I was born with. But, for as long as I could remember, my hair had been straight. I didn't even know what my hair looked like. Think about that. You have hair growing on your head and you have NO CLUE as to what your natural hair looked like. Whether it was curly or straight. You don't even know. Because all your rememberable (my word..don't look it up) life, it was straight. Your mom would tell you "You need a perm". So you grew up thinking, I need a perm.

If you're a woman thinking you NEED a perm, rethink that. Because, you don't need a perm. Your hair, whatever texture is beautiful. And you should never feel like your natural hair isn't acceptable. It's what you were born with.

You People...

2009-07-24T11:18:00.006-04:00

This rant has been brought to you by the letters: B I A and the number 2.

I’m beginning to believe my mother when she would say “You black people don’t realize how good you got it”. Because seriously, some of you don’t! Some people complained about Malaak Compton-Rock’s charity. Stating that maybe it would serve better to just give the family money. What is that going to do? Is that going to help them get out of their situation? Some parents are on disability. Once that money runs out, they’re going to be broke again. What does that teach the kid? Quick money only works for a minute.

The experience that Malaak gave those kids is priceless. She showed them that no matter how bad you may have it, YOU CAN HELP SOMEONE ELSE that has it worse! PERIOD! She showed those kids that they can make a difference. Don’t give me this ‘hood kids have it so bad’ crap. I could have sworn I saw the shy boy on a slider cell phone! How bad can he have it? Really? He can barely read, too shy to communicate and barely audible..but he has a cell phone. Good way to reward your child!

This is the impression I get from my people, you don’t want the dirty laundry aired AT ALL. You want the false perception that we’re doing so well. Hell, we can even come together as a race because we have an issue with light-skin-did people.

Many of us don’t make education a priority within our children’s life. I’ve told my kids that school is their JOB! It is their responsibility in my house. There is no other option. PERIOD. If you can’t do your job right, you will have to work OT. That means when your butt gets home, you’re going to be working at home too. When I found out my son was going to be going to a failing school, I knew that I would have to work THAT MUCH HARDER to make sure he not failing! There are no excuses.

Don’t get me wrong, I was pissed when Chris screwed up and went back to jail (you have to see the special, I'm not going to explain). No all black men do that when they come out of jail. The problem with Chris is, he didn’t have a FAMILY support system. He had a girlfriend and a new baby on the way. That added more responsibilities to him. In my opinion, if Chris had a stronger family support (parents, cousins, aunts, uncles, etc), maybe he could have done better. I know, this doesn’t work for everyone. Remember his is my opinion. However, I believe FAMILY is the only way we will be able to come out on top of the stereotypes.

You don’t start life as an adult black person dealing with issues. You start out as someone’s child. Thru that you learn how to deal with others, resolve conflicts and be a respectable person. But, without that strong background, you’re going to have issues. Thru family, you can learn that fighting doesn’t always solve issues and at the end of the day, YOU HAVE TO GET ALONG. That teaches you how to get over chit easier and faster!

A lot of people were upset about the Tuxedo Ball. Where all the affluent blacks where helping their children make professional connections. I didn’t have an issue with it. Sure they’re exclusive. But, they include those blacks in the community that are on the same level as them. Not much less than what we do with our own children. They just have more money to do it with. All they’re doing is trying to help their children succeed. What’s wrong with that? Don’t get mad, start your own Tuxedo Ball for your kids to help them make those connections.

Many other races get into good jobs because of WHO THEY KNOW! What is wrong with us doing the same thing???

But, I think what really pisses me off is those that wasted their time watching the stereotypes on BET. Watched T-Pain with his BIG A$$ CHAIN, lil girls dancing on stage to ‘I want to ____ every girl in the world’ and then say, ‘I’m not watching BIA: 2 because they just show us in a negative light”. Really?? God forbid you watch a show that has facts regarding things that affect the black community, your community (may not be you specifically, but you get my drift). But, watching an entertainment show that makes you look like a hoochie, financially wasteful and fashionably questionable is WAAAAAYYYYY much better.

Stop complaining and start doing something about it. What am I doing? Well, I’m working on uniting my family. Not just my children, but my ENTIRE FAMILY. That includes 4th cousins 4 times removed. I research my family tree so my children know where they come from. So my family can be proud of the long standing history we have in this country. I write a newsletter for my family (over 150 households and growing) to acknowledge our ancestors and living family member’s accomplishments. It may not be what you consider work in the community, but I'm helping where I know I can. Family is number one, wheter immediate or distant. If everyone, took the time out to focus on their family, could you imagine how many people you could reach?

O.k. I'm done...

Black, White or Biracial?

2009-07-21T22:50:00.003-04:00

I've always struggled with the issue of Biracial Americans (black/white mix) and how they classify themselves. Is it really fair that they are automatically considered black? What about their white side?

What are we still applying the 'one drop rule' in Post-Racial America?? (post racial..LMAO) Is it just easier to assume someone is black and not mixed race?

Biracial Americans have been here just as long as slavery. Slave masters having their way with a slave (or it was wanted attention) and white women falling for their black slaves. Both of these unions produce mixed race children. Maybe that's why children born during slavery time took the status of their mother. If mom free, so is the child.

However, automatically assuming that every person of color that appears to have one drop of black blood is black is a bit unfair to that person. IMO. Isn't that continuing racism?

#Skipgates Arrested

2009-07-20T21:34:00.005-04:00

The other day in black history (Thursday, July 16th, 2009), Henry Louis Gates, Jr. was arrested for attempting to break into his own home. This is obviously he was unaware that this is illegal in most states and he should have known better (sarcasm). Granted, his neighbor did not recognize him and she called the police. I'm not going to fault her in this case. She thought someone was breaking in and called the police. She didn't take the 'mind my own business' route.

He is the director of the W.E.B. Du Bois Institue for African & African American research.

While reading reports regarding the incident (I read this in an English accent..sounded better), I can't help but wonder why people think this was O.K.?

According to the police report, some things just doesn't sound right.

The police officer asked him who was in his home and Gates said none of your business, but Gates allowed the police officer into his home...all the way to the kitchen??? 2+2 is not equaling 4 here.
I don't know Skip personally, but he just didn't appear to be a man that would get this feisty over a police officer coming to his home.
He was arrested for yelling at his home at a police officer. Which in my opinion was a very objective thing to be arrested for. Gates saying "Ya, I'll speak with your mama outside"...WTF???

Well, I'm looking forward to hearing other versions of this story from those that were there. Especially Gates himself. I'm sure that his version will come out soon and be very different than what was reported in the police report.

**UPDATE**
An official statement is now available. Read for yourself. Tell me what you think..

Growing up black..my way

2009-07-20T13:21:00.004-04:00

Growing up, my hosts of friends were always other races. White, Asian, Swedish, Italian, Black, African, etc. Looking back, I can identify these different races of people. However, as a child, it didn’t matter, they were my friends. I could care less what their skin looked like. I grew up mostly on a naval base so there were always new people to play with and there weren’t that many black people to associate with. My parents didn’t really make an issue of race til later in life. But, my bestest friend was black. She lived 3 streets down and her brother and my brother were best friends. So, we were friends out of convenience. Wherever he went, I had to go. One of the benefits of being a little sister.

But, when I went off to middle school, moved off base and lost contact with my best friend, is when I was more aware of race. The comments started.

“You talk like a white girl”
“You act like a white girl”

Hell, everything I did was like a white girl according to the black kids at my middle school. It used to really bother me. I tried to ‘act black’ the best I could. But, never made any black friends middle school (no problems getting black BF’s though :P). So to feel more accepted, I started a campaign in middle school to ride on the coattails of my big brother. Lol. He was popular and already in High School so I began telling all the black kids that I was his lil sister and such. My effort to get accepted failed miserable. Seemed as though my dear brother failed to mention he even had a lil sister so no one believed me. As far as they were concerned, it was mere coincidence that we happened to have the same last name (stop laughing..) So, I retreated back to my small circle of friends (o.k. 2 people but we still coulda made a circle!).

But the statement talking like a white girl bothered me. How was I supposed to talk? I’m obviously not white, so what how was I supposed to say things.

Middle school was over and I was off to high school. The same one my brother attended. I adopted a lil more slang into my vocabulary and more urban style of dress. (think: TLC..the early years) However, the comments started again; me acting and sounding like a white girl. Obviously, what I was trying to do, still didn’t come off ‘black enough’. But, by this time, I was feistier. I had a comeback for those comments! When I would here “You talk like a white girl”, I would reply “Why? Because I speak proper English!” (looking back, I coulda added ‘B!tch’ to the end of that..but hey, I was in 9th grade.) That usually shuts them up and I go about my business.

In high school, popularity is important to me (yes education too but that goes w/o saying over here!). My brother was popular so I figured; I would be the same by default. NOT. Again, no one believed he had a little sister. Seemed like only his closets friends knew. Til the day he beat someone’s tail for calling me out my name. HA..VINDICATION! Now, they knew who I was. Sure, he almost didn’t get to walk with his class…but, more importantly, they knew who I was..lol. Anywho..back to the subject…uh where was I..

Right..well, thru my high school years, my mother would say things like ‘You black people waste oppurtunities’ or ‘you black people don’t see how good you have it’, etc. These statements made me more aware of racial issues. Not to mention, when we watched the news and a crime was announced she would say “Please don’t let it be a black person.” Well, my mother you should know is Ethiopian. Although in your eyes, you may say she’s black, to her, she’s Ethiopian. So, when I would reply “Aday (means mother in Tigrinya), how can you say that? You’re black.” She’d always reply, “I’m not black, I’m Ethiopian.” I was a sarcastic kid so my retort would be “Well, you married Black!” A slap later and I was off to my room.

I started to pay attention to race thru high school. I started to notice that there weren’t that many of us at the high school. I started to realize how little I knew about black history outside of mainstream history (MLK, Rosa Parks, Malcolm X, etc.) I started beg my mother to send me to an all black high school. I wanted to be closer to my people. I felt like I would learn more about black history if I went. Needless to say, she was completely against it. Her views of black people were stereotypical. I don’t know if it was experience to media interpretation. But, she didn’t think I would learn at all. After a year or so of trying, I gave up. She was not having it and there was no convincing her.

Growing up the way I did made me aware of my culture that I knew so little about. My mother knew nothing of black culture. (I didn’t even know what soul food was til I was a teenager-yes i know soul food isn't the only part of the culture, but I was upset that I didn't know about collard greens!!). But, being exposed made me want to know more about the people that looked like me. Now, I try to teach my children about their history. That it doesn’t stop at MLK, Rosa Parks and Malcolm X. There is nothing wrong with speaking proper English. It doesn’t matter who your friends are as long as they’re good people.

.....and…being popular isn’t so important. Being respected is!

This blog was inspired by TWiB.

(image source)

Obama's Speech

2009-07-17T09:21:00.001-04:00

I liked Obama’s speech. He didn’t talk hard or down to black Americans. He spoke what we have been thinking. And he talks in depths of racial issues affecting many African Americans.

Some, not all, African Americans make excuses for not aspiring to be more than what they are. Say what you want about that statement but it’s unfortunately true. Many think that since an opportunity isn’t easily available, it’s completely unattainable. This is completely false! The unfortunate part of being African American has to work harder to get to your goal in life. Discrimination still goes on in 2009. We are still denied access because of the color of our skin.
I agree with Obama when he said that the future of our youth is not predetermined. Regardless of your background and situation, don’t all that to be an excuse for not achieving your goals and aspiring to be greater. As African-Americans, we have to teach our children this. I teach my children that there is nothing more important than their education. That is their job right now. I never understood parents that make education an ‘option’ for their children. They allow their kids to miss school, whether knowingly or not. Lack of monitoring your children allows them to make choices that they shouldn’t be making, especially with their education.

There was one point in time when you were not only scared of your parents, but you were scared of what the neighbors would tell your parents. You were always (at least within sight) on your P’s & Q’s. But, now, there is less community in our society. This is one reason why I love going to visit my family in NC. With in one city in NC, I estimate half the black population is related to me. Where ever I go when I’m visiting, I always here “You’re related to those Spence’s”, or “I’m your cousin thru your . . . . “ There is a strong sense of community. You couldn’t do anything without it finding it’s way back to your parents. Everyone knew what’s going on. That’s the sense of community that children should be raised in.

African Americans come from a background of community. Our families before being brought to America lived in these communities. We call non-family members Aunt, Uncle or cousin because of this community. And community is something we should get back too.

How Super is your Head?!

2009-07-16T10:15:00.002-04:00

I know that the Karrine Steffans chick has been covered too much. But, what blows (no pun intended) my mind is the name she goes by. Superhead! Why do you want to be referred to and respected in this manner?

Superhead? Really? Come on. Even if you had Super Head, this would not be the name you would want to be referred as. You would want your Super Head abilities to be a secret. A secret so you become a respected Jump-off (I know! An oxymoron!) How much respect do you have now since you’ve stated yourself, that you have no friends? You, Ms. Head, sound so sad. And with the recent documentary regarding your alleged activities, it doesn’t sound like you’ll get much action.

To refer to yourself as Superhead (or be referred to as), what does that tell your son? You have a child that will know his momma was a whoremonger and wrote a tell all book about her escapades. Sure, there is nothing wrong with a woman’s right to be a ‘friendly’ and 'know all the boys' person. However, when you have children, you like to leave things to remain a closely guarded secret. When your child is old enough (30’s) to understand that ‘momma’s had her share of suitors’ is when you talk about it. However, you have written everything down in a book. This child has to go to school where the kids know his momma hunches (don’t act like you know know what hunchin is!!) for a living.

I wonder how he will view women later in life. That we only do what's necessary to get a-head (hehehe) in life? Using only our ass-ets (i'm on a roll) and not our brains (the real brains...not the one Weezy is referring too).